Life's lessons (Jealousy)

Jealousy is something I said I would never do - again.

I was wrong. It lead to hate and not being able to trust someone. Words are just words. Actions prove everything. I prove who I am by the way I write. I prove who I am by the way I speak. I prove who I am by the things I do.

Never be jealous of someone in another's life. If they choose to be with them, as heavy as that door is, open it without regret. Let them walk out. And lock that mother fucker as fast as you can. 

I wasted three years on empty promises. I wasted three years on empty words. I wasted over a decade on people who didn't deserve to have the time wasted on. It did not go unnoticed. I learned an important lesson.

People will hate you for all reasons. Being a writer people will hate you because they expect you to make more and support them. Being a writer, people believe they can piggy back off of you. Being a writer, if you weren't there when you were a nobody. Don't expect to be there when they are a someone.

We stress what we say. We even repeat ourselves. In the end - we will be, "Do whatever you want." But remember this ending..."Don't expect us to be there, waiting."

If you value us, cherish us, love us, then don't do anything that is going to make us regret having you in our life. 

You can think that's wrong of us, and we personally don't care. It is who we are. Stand by us and laugh in the darkness, or leave. But don't expect to return. It's as easy and simple as that.

We will only fight for so long. When we're fighting longer than it takes for us to complete a manuscript, (for me it's a week, so good luck), we can have our protagonist look better than how you ever treated us. We have no issues with walking away. We have real friends who will stand by our side, making us feel wanted. Every time you try to have us compete for your attention, there is someone else competing for ours. 

There is a reason of why my nickname was, "flavor of the week". I had guys lining up for the chance to be with me. They were waiting for the current one to mess up to be there to be the shoulder I cry on. You know what? And you guessed it, I am human and I went and cried on their shoulder. Why would I be with someone who ignores me when I have someone who is willing to be there to listen?

They say a little jealousy is a good thing. To a degree. If you have to continuously fight over the same thing, the same person, day in and day out, remove the common denominator. If the person refuses to remove the common denominator, then walk away and never look back.

A person will show how much they care about you by being there for you. By doing whatever it takes to keep you in their life. If they are making excuses as to why someone should stay, it should make you wonder what they are saying about you. 

Yes, it goes on with trust. (Which, I'll talk about in another post). But, if you can't calm a persons fears, they're only going to grow. I have realized that jealousy, fuck that shit, I don't have time for it. 

Jealousy and a writer go hand in hand. If you aren't (weren't) there from the start of our writing career, we don't care who you are. You are a nobody. Point blank. We did not get to where we are because of you and we will not get any further because of you. We see you as an anchor that we don't need in our life. Sad but true. 

The writing process is long and tedious. We spend many hours in front of our computer. We spend many hours fighting writers block. If someone else is going to come and take your attention, in all honesty, we're not going to notice. And most important - we're not going to care. The people who know how we are, are going to be there regardless.

Our brains go faster than most. Most think of only one way of how something will go. We think of ALL the possibilities. We devise plans and have multiple paths to reach various conclusions. If you don't calm all the conclusions, our mind is still going to be going at the speed of light.

Dating a writer is not easy. It's an uphill battle. Being with us is an adventure on its own. If you can't handle the storm, stay out of the rain. We don't want anyone who isn't there willing to defend us till the end of time. 

Pet peeves on businesses

This is to everyone who has a business.

As a consumer, I'm well aware of certain practices you implement. However, there are a few to where you will lose business. If you provide a service and a customer complains...

Don't sit there and tell them that it's a shotty job, AFTER the fact. Because *cough* remember, you are the one who provided the service.

If you don't think one persons opinion matters, you're in the wrong line of work.

I'll give an example. It was at Magic Nails in Homer Glen, IL.

The summer prior, they had done a great job on my nails. I had an upcoming wedding to attend and needed my nails done. So I go without hesitation or question on places I trust.

Going there right away when I came into town. I had the guy do my nails. (BTW, if anyone who does your nails, their pinky is the longest, while all the other nails are shortly cut, they use that nail to snort crack). Found that out when the guy flirted with me and hinted if I had done it. (Later I had confirmed from reliable sources of that is why they keep that nail as long as they do)

Anyways, my nails were done and I paid the tab. The following day, (the day of the wedding) the nails had so many bubbles in them and there was a human hair in one of them. Not only that, but they had charged me twice. Be careful of that. They'll "accidentally charge you twice. It'll take about two weeks for the correction. (In the meantime, they have your money and your account is thrown off)

When I stopped in before going to the wedding - this is what they told me when I complained.
"Your nails won't be photographed and they'll be at a distance, no one will know."

Ugh?! How gross? After I raised enough stink, they offered to redo my nails.

Sorry, but would you seriously trust the same people who messed up in the first place? I wouldn't. And, I didn't. They refused to give me a refund and/or come back on a different day to get them fixed.

Being the nice person I am, when I arrived back into town, couple days later. (Wedding was out of town) I went back there to talk to them.

Their response, "Your nails are nasty. There are no refunds."

Excuse me? Yeah, my nails are nasty because y'all are the ones who had done them. If a stranger can see the bubbles and you can't, got news for you. You're in the wrong line of work, if you can't admit that you're not perfect.

So, I put a dispute on my charge and after much fighting, got the charges reversed.

I out of most, understand mistakes happen. But if a business can't admit their wrongs and fix them, how are we teaching our kids? I understand some customers there is pleasing them. However, if it's a customer that has recommended you and has made business off of you, and you treat them like that, they will start sending their referrals somewhere else. Why give another store (when there are already so many nail places out there) the business to steal repeat business.

I'm not a business major, but even I have that one figured out. That was my experience with shotty work.

So,
1. Don't tell the customer YOUR work is dirty.
2. Don't "ignore" the problem and say you "don't see it."
3. Don't argue with them. When you speak to them in your native tongue, remember, many are able to "understand" what you're saying, but not speak the language.
4. Social media is hot. (if you've forgotten) I took a picture of my nails and reddit that.
5. Is refunding one person that much of a big deal, to please them and keep their mouth shut, instead of screaming in your store? (possibly scaring off new clients if that's their first time?)
6. If you're not a strip joint, don't flirt with the customers.
7. Don't show off your crack finger.
8. If you make a mistake - own up to it. (I will pay more for a service if they own up and say they'll fix it if it wasn't done right the first time)
9. Screw up enough  times, certain banks won't allow their customers to use their cards with you. (You weren't the first complaint the bank heard of from your facility)

That's my pet peeve for that business.