Users/Abusers/Losers

Okay, we know I'm less than subtle. We know I'm the most not politically correct author you'll meet.

This post is dedicated to the everyone emailing me their stories from my High Horse one.

Users

Don't use people. Plain and simple. I don't care if you've done more for someone than you're getting back. It's called being a decent human being. If you're the one who's getting and not giving, your time will come. People won't want to work with you.

I think of friendship as dating. Just without the sex. It's a relationship that has to grow in both directions. I dated a guy who said, "Would you even consider having them as a friend?" If you answered no, then why would you want to be with them? So, think of it as the reverse. Would you consider dating this person? (If you swung that way, or opposite or whatever) If yes, then they have friendship possibility. If no, why would you want to be friends with that person?

There are a lot of people out there willing to do things JUST to see someone else smile. When you demand, you become a user. When you a repeat demander, you are an abuser.

Abusers

Maybe you caught someone at the right time and place and they were able to do something right away. Don't expect it all the time. Unless you're going to die tomorrow, wait in line.

Your favorite soda is going on sale. (Hence the right time and place) You come back a week later and it's no longer on sale. You're not going to demand that they have the same special as last week. The company is only going by the companies they're selling promotions.

Say you go into your normal gas station and grab a coffee. You're at the checkout line to pay. You know the person and they know it's your birthday, so they don't charge you. Every day ain't your birthday. It's a nice gesture. Politely and gratefully thank them and be on your way.

Losers

Oh, how I'm going to love this one. If you read my last post, I guess we could call it cry babies too. When you complain about reporting/or how they shouldn't be doing something, JUST because it offends you, get off your high horse. You're a NOBODY! I'm a NOBODY! Well, I'm a somebody, just not to you.

Go ahead and report them. By you threatening you're going to do so, means you have no life. You're probably the one on craigslist, under romance that is flagging every post. Just because you have nothing better else to do with your time.

Haggling with people on the internet, does it mean that much to you? Seriously? Do you really have no life that you need to go trolling and making everyone else miserable? That's what you're making it seem.

How old are we again? I'm over 30 and enjoying my life. Thank you very much. I love my job, I can work from home and get paid to write this blog about whiney sniveling little idiots.

One, if you're offended by any of posts, "Well, if the shoe fits..." You're not the only one and you won't be the last one. I'm tired of a 50+ year old whiney about someone half their age doing something they don't like. Hell, my 89 year old grandmother doesn't complain as much as you do! Get over yourself! Who cares what you do. Really. Because I don't. I'm tired of listening to it, and there's this neat feature called BLOCK. Which is what I do after I unfriend your ass.

How about this? This is only an idea... Instead of sniffling about it, how about you ignore them? Oh, but I forgot that would be considered a decent human being with common sense. I'm sorry. I'm not sniffling over anything. I'm enjoying this. You know why? Because I know it pisses you off more.

I think we need to have a little law lesson. Disclaimer - I'm not a lawyer nor do I practice to be one.

Defame/slander - Any intentional false communication, either written or spoken, that harms a person's reputation; decreases the respect, regard, or confidence in which a person is held; or induces disparaging, hostile, or disagreeable opinions or feelings against a person.

Means, I must state who the person is. Since, this applies to so many of y'all take a pick. I'm also protected by the first Amendment of freedom of speech. Bite that one. Here's another food for though, what reputation do you have that I, myself, haven't created? So, there for, doesn't apply. Speaking the truth isn't defame nor is it slander. Thank you for playing our lovely game, better luck next time.

I can make fun of people all I like. It's called being an author. I get paid to make fun of other people. I don't watch TV but I did catch a glimpse of Tosh.0 or something like that. He spends 30 minutes with commercials, constantly making fun of people. Go bother him. No, you sit there with your bag of potato chips, laughing at his clips and egging him on from your couch. (Which, you probably haven't moved off of in weeks except to take a piss.) I hope, anyways.

If you're going to run your mouth, please do your research. There's nothing worse than arrogance. Worse when you add stupid arrogance to the pile. You're the one slandering your own self. So, before you run your mouth, or your fingers, make sure it's not making you look like the stupid one. Re read what you wrote and think what you would think if you read it. If you would make fun of the post, yeah, most likely other people will as well.

New Dating

Maybe not all, but most can relate.

You see me talk about my books.  I’m a regular person just like y’all.  So I’m sure you want to know more about me, than just what I’m writing about.  So anything book related to the series will be on that book’s webpage.

Have you gotten out of a divorce? A bad relationship? A not so bad relationship? A well decided to take a break from the dating scene to focus on your career?  Then decided to jump back in?  It’s a whole other world.  Those born in the 80′s and earlier can relate.

The one thing about the books, (yes I’m talking about the books), LOL it relates to life doesn’t stop and it changes to how we once thought it was.  I started writing, and when I was done writing, it’s like everything was backwards.

I’m an 80′s born and raised girl.  I’m old fashioned.  So let’s start with that.  How did we used to meet people?  It wasn’t by what you’re reading off of now.  It was getting out of the house and going somewhere.  You met someone by walking the mall, parks, get togethers, whatever the case may be.

I  remember this.  I was 15 (I think, maybe 16) and working.  There was this somewhat cute guy.  Older than me.  I knew he was player.  You knew by looking and talking to him.  That’s why I never paid him any mind.  He kept hinting that he wanted my ‘digits’.  A naive girl I was at the time.  Annoyed everyone by asking them was were digits?  Seriously I didn’t know.  I still didn’t put it together when they told me it was 7 numbers.  I always counted area codes, so yeah my mind blew by that one.

Now, after more than one failed marriage, and a kid, and my career on hold, going back to school to finish, the dating scene is harder than ever.

I’m not looking for another marriage.  But I’m not looking for what they call a FWB. Friends with benefits.  I don’t play that.  One night stand, oh no.  It was a real eye opener lately to see a lot of things change place to what once was.

Divorce – oh hell, if you don’t like your partner tomorrow, divorce them and marry another one two days later.

You get someone pregnant or you get pregnant – depending on your age – MTV here we come! OH please, don’t even get me started.  By no means am I saying you should get married if you become pregnant.  But when you’re on your 7th kid by a different person, yeah.

There seems (again, maybe its just me) that there is no family values anymore.  I still take them very seriously.  When people ask me about my past.  I usually start with my first husband.  (Because anything beyond, I was young and stupid) Hey, we all have those moments.

First husband, couldn’t keep his pants up.  Couldn’t handle playing house and took off shortly after our son was born.
After him – Used me until the well ran dry and moved in with the girl he was cheating on me with.
After him – Didn’t even last a night, complete idiot.
After him – Couldn’t grow up/take responsibility/alcoholic (and not a nice one)

So a decade later – guys want the barbie doll frames for trophy’s on their arm.  I ain’t no barbie doll.  I have curves.  Take that as you will.  I don’t want to be a barbie doll either.  I don’t want everything.

This is what I’ve encountered -

Bad date (there’s many but picking the top ones)

Looks nothing like picture, bad comb over, and boring conversation. (Boring I mean, I had more of a conversation with the window that was 20 ft away)

Now guys take some notes here – IDK about all girls, I’m speaking about me and the old fashion kind.

I’m NOT hot, cute, or pretty.  I’m DAMN beautiful and gorgeous.

We all know getting to know someone new is hard.  Believe you me I know.

There will be awkward silence. – in the beginning.  Me, personally, I don’t care if you ramble on about rocks, it tells me that you want to keep the conversation going and it might spark into another conversation.

If sex is the topic within the first 5 minutes – I move on. Yes, I’ll be honest, I want to know your size, I want to know if you’re decent in bed because committing to you.  But there’s so much more behind that.  Yes, I know society has us hooked on sex.  But I don’t need to hear it.  Let’s be honest you can tell our size by looking at us, we can’t tell yours.

This is not my idea of a pick up line, “Let’s get naked and cuddle.”  Do you really think that I’m that stupid to believe it?  I go running straight for the hills.  You may not be a little over critical about your body, (even though some are proud of their small beer belly) us women who have had children who are NEVER going to fit into what we were in high school, yes are little embarrassed.  Let’s be honest women, our metabolism has changed and no matter how active we are, it’s like the fat just doesn’t want to leave our body.

We are all crazy.  So if someone says they have no skeletons. HA! We ALL do!!!! It doesn’t matter who you are.  Some yes, are more than others.  Drama is based on who’s observing the drama.  My drama in my life is fairly low.  It’s the others who bring it into my world.  Never go looking for skeletons because when you do, yours will fall out.

Maybe I’m a little too blunt up front then most are used to.  But I would rather know what you’re getting yourself into.  The multiple failed marriages and a child.  And please guys – (and girls) don’t lie about not having a kid.  I met a really great guy.  But he wasn’t so great because he’s like see that picture, (duh – you mean the hot super model?) that’s my kid she’s holding.  He wanted me to like him because back at that time, I would not date a guy who had a kid.  I told him, it was up for me to decide for one, two and if I didn’t meet you solely for that reason, would you want to be with someone like me?  We lost contact after that.  I’m not going to lie, he was a sweet guy.  His downfall is that he lied to me.  Not about something small.  Oh I’m a clean freak and you go over and it looks like WWIII struck over night.  If you’re going to deny your kid, what makes me think if things worked out between us, if you wouldn’t deny if we had one.  He did say he wouldn’t.  I broke it off.

Now, I’m not saying I’ve always made the right decision.  Oh but girls (and guys) here’s an important lesson I’ve learned the hard way.  If you’re dating someone and they haven’t told you that they love you yet.  Don’t take their drunk “I love you” seriously.  Yeah, because they won’t remember it the next day when you greet them with a loving “I love you.”  They’ll look at you like you’re insane.  Then they think you’re moving too fast.

Now, if you have a close knit of friends, (like Lexi does, yes I mentioned the book), have them meet your friends.  My friends warned me on the bad ones.  I brushed them off.  I’m sorry I ever did.  I feel sorry for my married friends – because I’m the 3rd wheel.  Some – okay, okay, okay, all of the time.

It’s the little things that mean the world to me.  Sending me a text message to let me know that you’re thinking about me.  That means I’ve crossed your mind.  A hug.  And not just any old hug.  The hug that tells me that you’ve missed me. Holding my hand in public – meaning I’m not your dirty little secret.  If I’m willing to fight for you – you better be willing to fight for me.

When one stops complaining and doesn’t even care if you exist, yeah.  When I sit there and tell you how I feel.  When I sit there and sob and ask you a thousand questions, it’s because I care.  Not because I’m trying to be annoying or controlling.  When you sit there and tell me that you’ll be home in 5 minutes and don’t come home until 5 hours later because you were drinking with your buddies that were talking shit about me and you were taking their side!  That one still erks me.

My quote that I used a lot in my last marriage.  If you can’t touch me sober don’t touch me when you’ve been drinking.  If you can’t touch me when you’re awake, don’t expect it 15 minutes before my alarm goes off for the day, while you get to sleep in.  I need that extra 15 minutes so hopefully I don’t loose my sanity throughout the day.

If you can’t show support in anything your significant other does, you have no entitlement to get pissy with them.  Regardless if I make it big or not.  If you can’t be there to support me through my worst then you sure as the hell don’t deserve my best.  And I know that I’m very damn well worth it.

We will always compare our worst and see it for the future.  We have to learn of when it is and when it’s not the same.

Come on – we’ve all done it at one time or another.  “Hey bro – I’m going on a date.  Call me in an hour.”  Yup I’ve done it.  Yeah, but not really it’s being mean.  Yes, I would rather have, I’m not interested in the beginning. But then again, it’s human nature to feel sorry by not being that blunt.

One of my favorite ones.  “Sorry, I gotta go,” he said, quickly as he hung up the phone.  And you never hear from him again.  Or, “Sorry I didn’t want you thinking that I stood you up, but I got called into work,” he said, behind a hidden, oh yeah she’s not as hot as her picture look upon his face.

I was told that if I lost some weight and wore make up I could be a real hottie.  Well that’s good to know what NOT to do.  Because I don’t want to be a hottie.  He wasn’t much to look at ladies, so don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.  Oh – but if I wanted to have some fun, to call him.  Yeah okay, now there’s a major turn on!  NOT!

There were some good ones in between, but no chemistry.  Yes, physical attraction is a part.  But I like to get to know someone for their heart, that’s what makes them beautiful.  (Trust me if you’ve seen some of my ex’s you would know that I am speaking the truth) My first husband, everyone refers to him as the ‘tool’.  Still not sure what that means.  But yeah, there’s my taste.

For those that want to give up.  Trust me I know the feeling.  It’s hard.  Those that you think are decent, don’t find you attractive enough to give you the time of day.  The ones that you don’t find attractive – oh – which leads me onto the next topic.

Don’t be needy.  Let us see that you have a life.  If I say I’m going into a meeting, that doesn’t mean to text me 5 minutes later asking me if I received your voicemail.

With as much technology as there is, it’s only making the dating scene so much harder.

Questions I ask myself:

How many other girls have you said this too?

How many other girls have actually bought it?

OH! This one I just remembered.  Met a guy from the internet.  (yeah bad me) But we were sitting in his living room, reading, no shit, a car muscle magazine, talking about it.  He couldn’t get over it.  Then came a knock at the door.  Middle of winter.  His ex-girlfriend was there begging him back.  She walked to see him.  He apologized to take her home.  Whatever.  Never heard from him again.

I lost my high school class key because of a jerk who wouldn’t return it.  Oh I’m pissed over that.  I worked all summer to save up for my ring and class items myself.

Another thing – I have the open mouth, input foot syndrome.  I’ll say things and then smack my forehead about how stupid that sounded.  We all say something stupid.  Unless it’s something that you’re totally against, like you’ve never said anything stupid before.

Out of all the horror stories you’ve read and even the ones I haven’t written yet, I’ve still never given up.  After over a thousand emails (yes literally) back and forth talking.  I’ve been talking to this really nice guy.  We’ll see where it goes.

Hope everyone has a great night!

Social Networks

This is going to take me a week to fill out - so stay tuned...

We have (in no particular order)

Myspace - is this even still in existence? I don't use it much. In fact it's been years since my last log on. But, it gave you the customization to the background you wanted. Then, it lagged, slow as crap and nothing but kids on there. So, everyone moved to Facebook

Facebook - The original design was loved by many. The new design is hated by many. I personally hate the new design. Nothing we can do about it.
It's plain - Nice
Pictures you can limit your audience - Nice
Scrolling down to find something - Not so nice
Circles - Not so nice
Like pages - Eh, okay.

My own personal opinion, people are still there because of the games. If the games could travel, so would the people.

Twitter - Is there really a point to this? I'm on twitter. However, I rarely check it. I get people who I'm not even following in my feed. Impossible to keep track of tweets that come through. I have it, but gave up on it.

Pinterest - I forgot where I saw the phrase. I'm not taking credit for it, but it went something like, clothing kids we don't have, decorating homes we'll never own, and food recipes we'll never gain enough courage to attempt. It's an interesting concept. Reminds me of an organized Facebook to where you can easily go back to it later. I'm on it, but I don't do much with it.

Instagram - Never done it. But, I heard after they said whatever photos you upload now become their property, eff that! Many people left instagram. I can't comment on the usage or functionality because I never signed up for it.

Google + - I personally like this one. It's Facebook and twitter rolled into one. Circles are easier to control. Sorry for the people who don't play games. There's not much on there. I think that's why no one's transferred over.

And more...

Included not Life

So, still trying to figure out this blog crap. For warning, I may and do swear (throughout my blogs). I am vulgar and tell it like it is. I'm far from being politically correct.

So, let's begin with the first gripe, shall we? This adsense earnings crap. Why does everything in this world have to be 3943620239473 pages to read through to explain why you did or didn't or how or how you didn't follow the rules? Can you just tell us, "Hey idiot, you didn't do this." Then, when asked, or when someone else has a problem, we can be like, "Yeah, we didn't do this...we're idiots."

Again, that's just me.

Stay tuned...
I'll be taking about
new age dating...
consumer products...(crap that I buy on my own and give honest reviews about)
gripes/petpeeves
marriage/relationship
social networks
and so much more

If there's something you wanna see, put a comment and I'll talk about it!

Also, warning, depending on time of day and how much sleep I've had, (and which pot of coffee I'm on) sometimes my posts may seem a little drunk.